It seems like every month, we hear of another student taking their life because of cyber bullying or sex-ting. What is it about online bullying that drives students to the point of taking their own life? I believe there can be several factors, but the one I would like to talk about is one that may be overlooked by most adults.

When my parents grew up, they had to get up and walk either to a phone (because the joys of wireless communication was just out of grasp) or to an actual person to talk to another human being. This consequently allowed this generation (lets call them the parent generation) to fully engage in one reality, which was the reality around them. Today, the Internet has literally opened another world. Some might call it an alternate reality. One example is poptropica.com. This website is built upon the idea that your character is exploring a new world and saving the earth. Now I don’t think it is a bad website, but with the amount of energy and emotion poured into some online games, these “realities” can become out of control.

Sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram allow students to purposefully tell their story -their way. They can take a thousand pictures to get just the right one. Your child can completely and totally be another person online. Now, if a student has chosen to make his or her own identity online, it doesn’t take much to destroy that “person.” Typically the real identity of this student has already been destroyed, and to destroy the alternate identity of this child is to destroy the child. I hope you understand what I’m trying to communicate because parents and adults need to realize, students find much comfort from being able to create that online identity. Understand this, and you can begin to relate better to your child.

Now when it comes to monitoring your child’s social media pages, there are a couple options. The first and most unobtrusive one would be to friend or follow your child. Facebook has added more privacy settings which allow your child to block individual posts so this may not be the foolproof solution. Another option would be to have your child’s login information. Although you will most certainly have pushback from your child, it may be worth it. Another very effective way would be to install monitoring software on your computer. All these suggestions and a list of monitoring software can be found at this website: theonlinemom.com. Also if your child is using acronyms you don’t know (or any slang) go to urbandictionary.com. Just be careful that you look at all the definitions. The letters “pin” could mean anything from “Puke In Nose” to “drugs” to “a submission hold in a wrestling match”. Also the definitions can contain inappropriate language, so use with discretion and caution.

Lastly, sit down and talk to your kids about wise choices on the internet. Teach them about being Christ-like and show them what that looks like online. Tell them how harmful the wrong image can be and how it can haunt them for much longer than their high school years and use God’s Word to reinforce the importance of portraying yourself and your family online. Taking an active role in your child’s online persona is so important for their safety and their testimony! Get involved!

-Ethan Boles, Media Instructor