When it comes to healthy marriages, the secret to lasting love isn’t being perfect but trusting and glorifying who is: Jesus Christ.

That was among Debby Canfield’s themes Oct. 22 when she spoke to 142 women at Triad Baptist Church on “The three things every woman needs.”

The ladies luncheon was part of the Life Action Summit Revival conference Oct. 18-28 led by Canfield’s husband, Steve, the event’s lead revivalist.

Drawing on the story of the Biblical Hannah — whose heart’s desire was to have a child after being barren for years — Canfield encouraged women to first take their burdens to God.

“When we leave our crisis before the throne of God in prayer, we can get up and know that burden has been taken care of,” she said, adding that’s how Hannah left the temple happy even before she knew God had granted her a child.

“My purpose in life is not to be happy but to glorify God, and there I find real joy,” Canfield said. “Trust Him to lead you. Bring Him into your everyday life and don’t quit.”

Cactus or magnet

She said women can either take matters into their own hands and become a relationship cactus — constantly comparing, complaining, and controlling — or let Jesus transform them into magnetic women who are content (Philemon 4:11, 1 Timothy 6:6), complimentary (Psalm 119:164), and who are cheerleaders for those they love (1 Corinthians 10:31).

With one study showing that women speak 1 million, 248,000 words a day, and most of them negative, Canfield acknowledged it isn’t easy to have a grateful heart but that it’s key to a contented life.

“Contentment consists not in having great wealth, but in having very few wants,” she said. “It’s about not getting what you want but wanting what you get. A magnetic woman is one who has filled her cup with Jesus, and who clings to God for her strength, guidance, and wisdom.”

Now 62, Canfield celebrated the 50th anniversary of her spiritual birthday in September. She became a new creation in Jesus Christ at age 12.

Since those days, Canfield has spent nearly 40 years of her adult life on the road with Steve in a travel trailer crisscrossing America with Life Action’s travel team to help churches spark spiritual renewal and revival.

Along the way, she’s raised six children (who have blessed her with 14 grandchildren) and helped put countless marriages back together while relying on Jesus Christ every day to keep her own healthy, and help it safe from the attacks of Satan.

“It’s not going to be perfect until we see Jesus,” she said, “and that’s why we need to ground ourselves in walking with the Lord every day.”

Triad members Melody Chandler and Ashleigh Smith were among those who spent their lunch hours with Canfield.

“For me, it was a great reminder of the importance of looking to Jesus to find joy, and not my circumstances,” Chandler said.

“As Debby said, you make the choice and no one else,” Smith added. “You can either show love and contentment and reflect Christ or choose to be a cactus.”

For more encouragement and support in building Christ-honoring relationships, get involved in one of Triad’s women’s ministries and access the blogs, broadcasts, emails, articles and more provided by Life Action’s Revive Our Hearts women’s outreach.